Four Questions.

What a privilege it is to watch all of you. I sit at the dinner table and look around, in complete awe of my life. Of this house we are making a home. This family. I do not take any of it for granted. Is it perfect? Of course not, but it is mine.

Across from me sits my best teammate, a husband who is a true partner. A present and caring father - one who notices the little stuff. He upended his identity and career so he could be here enough to notice the little stuff. Which is, of course, actually the big stuff.

Next to him, a three year old with more whit and personality in his pinky toe than I have in my entire body. Funny, way too smart, and so full of love. He beats to his own drum, and I hope he always embraces his unique vibe.

At the head of the table, a six year old who rushed off to swim lessons after school, conquered a huge milestone, and happily sat down at dinner next to his baby brother, listening to Teddy babble and making him laugh. He’s so grown up, closer to teen than toddler it feels, but forever my baby. His innocence and huge heart, I pray he holds so tightly onto them both.

And then my actual baby. My almost one year old. My every dream come true. Theodore has the sweetest soul; an innate ability to light up any room with his smile and calm demeanor. He seems so genuinely happy to be here, to be a member of this wild and crazy crew.

We all laughed tonight at dinner. A lot. Over the past year we have ridden the waves of transition with a lot of prayer and a shit ton of grace - for everyone - and we’ve landed here: evening dinners that are our time. It’s when we talk, laugh, share, connect.. as one.

Four simple questions have led us all to embrace family in such a special and unique way.

What was your favorite thing about today?

What are you most looking forward to?

What are you thankful for or proud of?

Who do you want us all to pray for tonight?

These are the questions that guide our meals. We all answer them, talk about them. Sometimes it’s funny - I’m thankful for candy! Sometimes it’s raw - I want to pray for Mommom’s mom. I didn’t get to meet her before she went to heaven, but I know I love her. Sometimes it’s so sweet my heart could explode - my favorite part of today was when I was playing with Teddy so Mommy could cook us dinner.

My favorite, perhaps, is when Jack and Colt make us all guess what Teddy would say his favorite part of the day was. His nap! Playing with me! Knocking down all the legos! I love how they want to include him. In everything.

It took us months to get here. Some nights the kids can’t sit still and run around, barely touching their food. Paul and I lose some patience. There are good days and tough ones. It’s always loud. Some nights everyone is so exhausted and there’s not a ton of fun. But there’s always sharing. Listening. And some nights, like tonight, it’s magic.

The best kind of magic, too. Not the kind that just appears. No, this is magic we worked hard for. The long road. Months and months of standing firm in what we knew was a value we wanted to instill within our family, in our new home. Yes, we want our kids to be able to sit at a dinner, eat well, and carry a conversation. But this takes practice. And emulation. And an understanding of WHY.

And for us it’s about so much more than just sitting still and eating your food. It’s about family. It’s about faith. Communication. Gratitude. Nourishment. Home. It’s about thanking God for our blessings. About slowing down long enough to really appreciate the faces staring back at you.

Paul and I know it won’t always be this way. After-school activities. Sports. Friends. That season of life is coming. And we will try to greet it with the same level of excitement and grace. But for right now, in this season, it’s just us.

Stoltzfus, Party of 5. At home. Around the dinner table. Talking, laughing, sharing. Prioritizing. Setting the tone for our evenings; for their childhood. Tuning out the noise and listening to one another. Letting their little voices be heard, and having them listen to ours in return. Truly enjoying each other over a meal.

And what could possibly be better, be more important, than that?