The year we never knew we needed.

September 19, 2020 | Motherhood

You see it daily on your news app, your social media feed, texts from friends: Go Away 2020. Is it 2021 yet? What else can go wrong this year? Thanks a lot, 2020. I get it. I’ve said it. This year has not been the year that any of us expected. Far from it. We have witnessed tragedy after tragedy – locally, nationally, globally. A Pandemic. Politics. Racial and Social Injustice. Global Warming. Cruelty. Hate. Death. It feels never ending – the suffering, sadness, inequality, and violence. Not to mention loss of jobs and mothers leaving the workforce in droves because, how the hell else are we supposed to manage?

It has all been SO MUCH. Too much. But I’m going to challenge you to pause and make the conscious decision to look at 2020 differently. What if we chose to fully embrace the positive, despite all the bad? 2020 is the year that the political framework of this country was finally flipped on its head and exposed. Tell me that wasn’t necessary? It is the year that our country’s sick obsession with sports was fully uncovered - far too many who say “shut up and dribble”, or value Saturday and Sunday rituals over the health of athletes and their families. And it was the year that we were all forced to take a long, hard look inward as we fight daily for basic rights of ALL Americans. Matter is the MINIMUM. Self-reflection is a great thing; it leads to internal struggle which leads to change. I don’t know about you, but 2019 wasn’t exactly a walk in the park either. Neither was 2018. These issues have been concerns for as long as I can remember but it wasn’t until 2020 that we were all forced to slow down and reflect.

Yes, this year has been full of hardship and hurricanes, but I personally have 0 interest in going back to life prior to 2020. Because you know what it was full of (besides the same aforementioned issues many of us chose to ignore, either consciously or subconsciously)? Rush. Panic. Stress. Depression. Anxiety. Frustration. Anger. And so much busy-ness that I could barely breathe, let alone clean the house and play with my kids or love my husband the way he deserved. It was madness, and I needed out. I prayed for an opportunity to slow down daily. Now, I know God did not place COVID-19 on this earth so that Megan could spend more time with her family. But I do know that I have taken every advantage and forced myself to find happiness while we are all in a time of serious change. Life is hard enough; to hell with the f-ing hustle (if you haven’t read this book, I highly recommend it). I am deliberately choosing how I feel and speak about 2020, especially around my children. I choose to focus on joy. I am in no way ignoring what is happening in the world, quite the opposite. I am more in tune with current events in our country than I have been in years. And much of that is “thanks to 2020”. Decisions made this year have resulted in me not rushing out the door each morning and schlepping my kids home at 7pm before collapsing into bed, stressed and behind schedule. Rinse. Repeat. I now get slower mornings with fewer alarms. I get an additional game or puzzle with Jackson before bed because we don’t have to wake up and worry about traffic and drop-off times. I am declaring 2020 as the year of family. We are all making incredibly difficult choices that are less than ideal, but we are focused now more than ever on the importance of time with our loved ones. My husband and I were both present this year when Colton took his first steps. We witnessed that together, in our home. I believe it was a Tuesday around 1pm. What a gift. Thank you, 2020. My boys have “story time” with Mommom (my mom) two or three times a week via FaceTime. Does it absolutely suck that we cannot be together? Of course. But we live 600 miles away from Ohio regardless, so FaceTime is nothing new. Yet additional days and times to all read together, is.

God took away our distractions this year, and He forced us all in front of a giant mirror of reflection. No more sports. No more church. No more amusement parks, extravagant birthday parties or movie theatres. Nowhere to hide. He forced us inside our homes to truly do the work we had been neglecting. Because if we do not start to focus our love, energy, and attention within our homes, how can we EVER expect the world to change for the better? And I want Jackson and Colton to know that 2020 was not “the worst year ever” – how could it be when it was the year that we had more time as a family of four then we probably ever will again in our lives? I believe that Jackson will remember this year as the one that Mommy made pancakes whenever he asked. And the year I taught him to write his name and play a mean hand of Go Fish. It is the year that Daddy said ‘yes’ to Disney movies and popcorn at 2 p.m., or water hose fights in the front yard at 5pm because we were all home before dark. This is also the year that Jackson will have learned about racism and religion in big, new ways (I will say it until I am blue in the face – I vow to teach my babies to love your babies. Period). 2020 is the year that Jack & Colt’s parents reassessed their health; focused more on themselves, in order to prioritize their children. Getting the help we need to be better individuals, because we know that collectively our unit is stronger when we truly value our own health and happiness. I choose to believe, through my faith and my actions, that we are on the precipice of genuine transformation in this country; on a societal, political, racial, economical, and familial level. And we are going to come out the other side with a heightened sense of gratitude for so many things that were once taken for granted. So, THANK YOU, 2020. You are the year we never knew we needed. The one that changed it all.