Find A Man Who.

October 25, 2020 | Marriage

Today is our wedding anniversary. Six years have gone by quickly, full of ups and downs, adventure and mundane. When I think back on our love story and the journey that led us to today, I believe now more than ever God placed us in each other’s lives at the absolute perfect moment in time. So as I look at the man I have grown with and loved for the better part of a decade, I feel compelled to share my thoughts on “the one”. Setting aside the list of characteristics we often think about when considering the ideal person to share life with such as height, career, or eye color, and even deeper ones like faith, values, and parenting style, I have come to realize just how important it is for you to open your heart to a man (woman, partner, significant other, etc.) who will allow you the space necessary to learn and grow into the best version of yourself. Not for him, but for you.

The person I am today is a far cry from the person I was when I met Paul in 2011. I like to think the me he wakes up to now was always there, but she had been buried deep beneath stories I’ve told myself over the years of who I was supposed to be, how I was supposed to act, even the dreams I was meant to chase. Nothing in my life fit quite the way it should, until I met Paul. But there have also been countless times over the past six years where I felt like I was losing a part of myself in order to be a good wife or mother. Reflecting on some of my darkest moments, when I looked in the mirror and no longer recognized the person staring back at me, I am able to now appreciate what I was experiencing for what it actually was - an awakening. I had to lose myself. I needed to confront some of my deepest fears head on in order to truly come alive as the purest version of myself. This woman is not someone the high school, college, or even graduate school Megan would recognize, yet I feel more safe and whole in my own skin than I ever have. I feel seen and heard and loved.

I believe I can now feel that love coming back to me tenfold because of how I am learning to love and honor myself, my soul. I have awakened the person I am truly destined to Become. And I love her. She is strong and kind and independent. She is a good friend and a businesswoman. She is a mother who believes she is raising children who will change the world. She is a wife who still gets butterflies when her husband tells her she’s beautiful (and she believes him). Yet during my final semester of Graduate School, when I was given an assignment to write down my biggest dream on a piece of paper, put it in an envelope, and seal it… to be opened or referenced years later, I had no idea this woman existed within me. I recently stumbled upon that envelope and opened it. Inside was not the desire to become a Director of Student-Athlete Development at a Power Five school (despite that being my “dream job” at the time), but were four simple words: I want the fairytale. More than anything, that 24 year old girl still felt she needed to be rescued. I believed my happiness stood squarely on the shoulders of a knight who would provide me everything I’ve ever wanted. Problem was, I had absolutely zero idea what I truly wanted, let alone needed. What I did know, however, was that Paul was different. I loved him unconditionally, and knew he was someone who would support me in any way possible while we journeyed through this thing called life together. And that’s the thing about a true partnership; you don’t necessarily have to have it all figured out as individuals, but you must commit to the hard work, the confusion, and the heartache, along with all the beautiful.

So let’s shift the narrative as we talk to our friends, children, and family about “finding” someone to share their life with. And instead focus on opening your heart to someone who is able to see you even more clearly than you see yourself. Someone who is patient and strong enough to give you the gift of finding her on your own. A partner who would do anything in the world to rescue you, but would much rather cheer you on as you find the faith and conviction to save yourself. And as I think back to that graduate school assignment, I smile and cannot help but laugh… because I did get the fairytale, just not the one I intended on finding. While Paul has loved every iteration of me, he was not the one to save me. Through his foundation, encouragement, and love, I found the strength to save myself. And in finding myself, I can love and be loved so much more deeply in return. Talk about a Happily Ever After.