The Forty Day Difference
It has been about six weeks since birthing Theodore, and my postpartum experience has already been drastically different from my other two - in the most encouraging way.
I was incredibly intentional prior to Teddy’s arrival, planning as best I could so all five of us could thrive early on. During my previous pregnancies I was hyper-focused on finalizing every last nursery detail and ensuring we had the right number of swaddles and sleepers. This time around, I knew my priorities had to shift towards my recovery and a strong support system. Paul and I set aside time to talk through our goals and fears for the initial transition to a family of five, focusing on what we ideally wanted our “new normal” to look and feel like, how we could best support our mental health, our children, daily schedules, work adjustments, and sleep.
“The first 40 days after the birth of a child offer an essential and fleeting period of rest and recovery for the new mother.” - Heng Ou
It actually took a lot of time and planning to set ourselves up for success; much of my second and third trimesters were spent researching things I’d never previously considered when bringing a baby home. Physical therapists, postpartum doulas, yoni steams, belly banding, essential nutrition needs, and supplemental support, were just a few. I truly believe these aspects have all played a significant role in my being able to describe my first few weeks postpartum as both peaceful and restful.
Here’s what has made the biggest difference for me thus far:
+ taking things so very s l o w : it is really easy to rush back into life, especially with two other boys, and a habit of always needing to feel like I’m “accomplishing” something; but prioritizing my rest first and foremost is what best benefits my entire home. Being more open to having others care for Theodore during stretches where he just wants to be held has been integral (and something I never felt confident or comfortable doing with my other two…I’ve come a long way). We had Lucy, our postpartum doula, give Teddy his first bottle at just two weeks old (breastfeeding was already an established success) so we could create even more windows of time very early on where I could sleep while she and/or Paul was caring for him, and the older boys were at preschool. I definitely credit my enhanced levels of rest in those first few weeks with how I was able to physically (and mentally) go for a hike and ride a horse in the mountains at 4 weeks postpartum.
+ an expanded support system : while I firmly believe we make the best team in the world, Paul and I are not super human, and we cannot do it all and thrive as a family. We strategically set up a village of support that has included a meal train, postpartum doula, babysitters, play dates, and rides to and from preschool for Jackson and Colton. We don’t have any family close by, which makes things extra difficult at times, but the reality is, no matter what, having babies is HARD! You have to be intentional to create your own village, and be willing to accept so much help, as difficult as that may feel!
+ 1:1 time with each boy, every day : easier said than done, but even if it’s as simple as a walk together down the street or some time getting changed into pjs before bed, all of us are happier, and our cups are fuller, when mama can give a little undivided attention.
+ shower every single day : 7am, 10pm, or 2am, a shower happens each and every day. This was honestly one of the most drastic changes from my first two postpartum experiences, and it makes me feel SO much better on just about every single level. I’ve also made it a point to keep up with my skincare routine, and sometimes even put on a little makeup so I feel more put together - maintaining small habits of your typical routine impacts your mental health more than you may realize!
+ moving my body : It might be a quick walk or some gentle yoga, but this has been such a game changer for my mindset and my recovery. While it’s important to remain horizontal as much as possible in those early weeks of recovery, I also know I need to keep moving to feel my best (and movement is almost always followed by a nap or extra long lounge/nursing session with Theodore). While I’m now slowly incorporating some strength exercises to my routine (only after being medically cleared), my trainer, Susan, is very intentional with ensuring I move slow and steady, despite my innate desire to “do more”.
+ fresh air and sunshine : Teddy and I get outside every single day, even if it’s just to sit in the rocking chairs while the older boys play. Soak up that Vitamin D, mama! It’s so important for both you and baby (think: mental health, blood sugar regulation, the list goes on!).
+ optimal nutrition and supplement support : Steph Greunke’s Postpartum Reset Program has taught me so much about enhancing nutrition during the postpartum period in a way that best regulates hormones, increases energy, reduces inflammation, supports recovery and overall health. I truly believe this program, combined with a protocol of vitamins and supplements, are helping me to feel so much more human, even while lacking sleep, and having so much depleted by breastfeeding around the clock. I feel like I have an entire arsenal of resources at the ready to support any of my postpartum needs, and that is such a gift! Some of my personal favorite postpartum food items include: Water with lemon and ginger, Needed collagen protein, Purely Elizabeth Superfood Oatmeal, bone broth, PinkStork Recovery Tea, PaleoValley bars, no-bake protein power bites, and cheese/nut/fruit snack packs.
While these postpartum shifts have helped me to feel supported, rested, and strong throughout this pivotal time, it doesn’t mean it hasn’t also been really really hard at times. I always struggle feeling comfortable in my postpartum body, despite being so damn proud of what this body has accomplished, and I’m so busy caring for three young boys that it has been easy to accidentally skip meals or not drink enough water. When I was starting to feel a major slump at about 4-5 weeks post-birth, I was all the more thankful to have a built-in community that truly rallied around me and provided so much support (even having the courage to ask for the help was a huge step and change from my other postpartum experiences). I leaned on the women within Postpartum Reset, and my postpartum doula, to help me process what I was feeling, create a gameplan for the upcoming few weeks, and prep additional meals and snacks (pro tip: ensure when you’re prepping postpartum meals that you factor in easy breakfast options! Items like baked oatmeal and breakfast burritos can be made in advance and frozen for later!).
I am far from an expert, but am truly so thankful for the knowledge I’ve obtained and how much I’ve grown through each pregnancy and postpartum period. While far from perfect, my postpartum experience with Theodore has been such a welcome change for the entire family. I am so much stronger. Whether you’re preparing for your first or fifth baby, I hope you know that your postpartum experience is not something you have to suffer through. It can truly be so beautiful - but we definitely cannot do it alone.
