Evolution of growth.

When you finally - finally - take the first step to seek help, in any form, you slowly begin to feel the air seep back into your lungs. The metaphorical thousand pound weight is lifted off your shoulders. And until that weight is gone, you probably didn’t even realize just how heavy it had become. I know I didn’t. But what happens after you get the help you need?

I’ve said it before, and I know I’m not alone in the fact that continually asking for help is hard. Really hard. Especially in this season of life. I am fully aware of how fortunate I am to get to do life every day with my boys, but that doesn’t mean I don’t need help. I’m still human, after all. As I mentioned in my previous post on motherhood, I do not view raising my babies as putting my life on hold. I’m as committed as ever to continually evolving in all aspects of my life. A happy and whole mother is what I want most for my boys.

Personal growth, however, isn’t some set destination. It’s not a permanent space we get to live in, similar to a certificate we hang on the wall after completing a professional development training. Life is full of resistance; ups and downs that, one way or another, change us and challenge us, they help us grow and teach us lessons. And by intentionally clearing out clutter that weighs us down, we are providing ourselves the opportunity to evolve. To reach higher, become stronger.

We know the old adage is of course true - you can’t pour from an empty cup - but your cup isn’t going to really become full by taking a bubble bath or getting a weekly manicure. You can’t “self-care” your way through most of life’s challenges. To truly overcome and evolve takes repeated acts of resiliency and faith. Commitment, consistency, and definitely some help, are required to really fine tune and grow as a person.

A few weeks ago, I made the decision to dive back into personal development coaching. It’s been humbling, but I am really learning what it means to remain resilient as it relates to the entirety of my health and happiness. And in order to be my best self, I have to be willing to revisit, refine, and master the tools that led me towards positive growth in the past. This is where true transformation really begins to take place.

I have now begun to dig even deeper into the topics on my heart, the ones that are so very raw and real - health and healthcare, marriage, my career, boundaries and codependency, my children, familial relationships - this is the work. Life work. I am learning even more about myself, and my goals, through this evolution of growth.

Because when you first lift 10lb weights, they may initially feel pretty heavy. But with consistency those 10lbers are going to make you strong. Yet you can’t stick with 10lb dumbbells forever. Eventually the resistance subsides and it gets... easy. Too easy. With limited results. Eventually, you have to increase your weight if you want to up-level your results. And if the brain is the muscle that needs to be fine tuned the most, then just as I have graduated to 20lb dumbbells for my workouts (hell yes, @susan.fit.life 💪), I’m upgrading the work I do within my mind. And it’s fascinating. I’m stretching myself in ways I never knew possible, allowing myself to dig deeper and move further. To really grow and evolve, in all areas of life.

Through my personal development work with Ciara, my nutrition and fitness work with Susan, and my weekly riding lessons, I am challenging my brain, body, leadership skills, and my soul, like never before. Do bad days happen? Of course. But I try not to dwell on them; I allow myself to move through them. Because the totality of what my life looks like now - the state of neutrality and peace I am finding most days - has been such a transformative experience.

The time is going to pass anyway, so I encourage you not to live another day feeling stuck or frustrated, like you are simply surviving, or staring at the list of things you wish you could do - the certification you want to acquire, the class you want to take, the therapy session you think you might need, the book you want to read (or write😉), the hobby, business, or side-hustle you want to start. You are worthy. Right now. And regardless of how you feel, or the role you choose to play in this world, you can always shift your focus to a growth mindset, and take the first step by asking for a little help.

It’s a journey. It’s not always going to be easy, but it can be so beautiful.

If you’re not sure where to start, I’ve included a few book recommendations that have helped to shape my mindset and growth. You can also connect with Ciara or Susan. If you’re local fo Columbia, SC and want a true taste of leadership and growth - go get on a horse with JR as your trainer.

Keep growing and evolving, friends!